How to Manage Stress From Home While at Work
This article was based on episode 233 of The Modern Manager podcast. To hear this episode, and many more like it, you can subscribe to The Modern Manager Podcast oniTunes,Google Play,Spotify, iHeart Radio, Amazon, andStitcher. Members of the Modern Manager communityget two months of Fast Forward membership for free. Never mi a worksheet, episode or article: subscribe to Mamie’s newsletter.
Just as we don’t want to bring the stre of our work life home, we also don’t want to bring the stre of our home life to work. But let’s face it; we’re human. Stre in one part of our life invariably impacts the other. But how do we talk about and manage this stre in the office if we want to appear both profe ional and honest?
Andrea Liebro joins me to discu the best ways to turn “stuck stre ” into “productive stre ” and how to bring your colleagues along in your stre management journey. Andrea is a certified busine and life coach, speaker, podcast host, and soon to be published author who is known for helping bold, ambitious women make clear, confident decisions, so that they get exactly what they want every time.
MAKE STRESS LESS STRESSFUL
Despite its reputation, stre isn’t nece arily bad! It shows up in us biologically for a reason. We can use that energy better if we shift from focusing on the problem to focusing on the solution.
From Stuck Stre to Productive Stre
When we’re in ‘stuck stre ’, the creative part of our brain (or Genius Brain) shuts down. We’re so focused on the problem that we can’t see a way out. The more we think about the situation, the more the stre keeps on increasing, without offering us any relief. To flip the switch to ‘productive stre ’ mode, we need to become solution focused. As we shift to thinking about how to solve the problem or what we can do to improve the situation, the intensity begins to fade.
Plan in Advance
Andrea also suggests we focus on our vision and planning for the future to reduce surprises. Not all sources of stre can be predicted, but many major life stre ors can be planned for. When you look one, three, or five years into the future, you can identify goals to work towards and likely stre ful events (such as children, starting college, or aging parents needing more support). Then, when things get bumpy, you know this would have been part of the path and can shift your mindset to the productive zone.
While stre may still feel challenging to deal with in productive stre mode, the feelings are tolerable and we have enough bandwidth to move forward.
HOW TO SHARE YOUR LIFE IN AN APPROPRIATE WAY
Many of us develop wonderful personal relationships at work. Sharing your life outside of the office helps us feel connected to our colleagues, but it’s not always clear where the boundaries are. When things are tough at home, it's okay to clue your team members in so they can better understand and support you. Just be sure to do so in a profe ional manner.
Take Out the Gue work
In the absence of facts, we make up our own. The best part of being open is that our colleagues don't have to gue what’s going on with us. If our coworkers notice us being anxious and grumpy, they will interpret those signals and come up with their own story to explain what’s going on. They may even worry we are mad at them. Being open about our life stre ors allows others the insight to give us compa ion when we’re not performing at our best.
Share the Facts and Skip the Drama
We want to come to our colleagues in productive stre mode instead of like a volcano spewing all of our worries and fears. When sharing personal details about our lives, it’s all about how we frame them. Share the facts while also framing your experience. For example, if you are dealing with moving aging parents out of their home, you may feel honored at the opportunity to be helping them while also overwhelmed at the tremendous amount of work it is to complete.
Let your team members know that your mood may shift over the next few weeks because this is a big deal for you. Framing it in this way offers your coworkers a window into your world without oversharing. Try not to share when you’re at the height of an emotional peak. Instead, choose a time while in solution-focused mode to make sure that your stre doesn’t spill over onto your team.
Share Your Manual
We all have our own “manuals” for how things should be: how long a reasonable sick leave is, what our manager relationship will be like, etc. When our expectations don’t match up, conflict and confusion arise. Being open about current stre ors allows us to get on the same page and to understand each other better. When we know how we each react to life stre ors, we can spot the clues that something is going on. This allows us the opportunity to support each other in the ways we each uniquely need.
Home life and work life are tied up as one. What affects us at work affects us at home, and vice versa. We don’t need to close off those two different worlds from each other. Being open about our home stre ors when it starts impacting our work life is important—but this takes effort. We need to remember to first shift from stuck stre to productive stre mode, focusing on solutions. We need to focus on the facts and frame the situation so we can share both the positive and negative aspects of this stre in a way that feels balanced and authentic. In doing this, we clue our colleagues into why we may show up in certain ways. This adds a level of understanding and compa ion that will help your team support one another. When we give our teams a glimpse into our home life, our bonds and collaboration strengthen to an incredible degree.
KEEP UP WITH ANDREA
Website: www.andreaslinks.com
Podcast: https://pod.link/timetolevelup
Get $100 off Full Focus coaching AND free acce to the 5 Days to Clear Thinking challenge when you become a member of the Modern Manager community at themodernmanager.com/join.
This article was based on episode 233 of The Modern Manager podcast. To hear this episode, and many more like it, you can subscribe to The Modern Manager Podcast oniTunes,Google Play,Spotify, iHeart Radio, Amazon, andStitcher. Never mi a worksheet, episode or article:subscribe to Mamie’s newsletter.