As a manager, your mindset shapes not only your success but also the culture and effectiveness of your team. The way you think impacts decision-making, leadership style, and even the psychological safety of your employees. While external challenges in management are inevitable, what’s often overlooked are the internal barriers—negative thought patterns that sabotage your effectiveness.
Cynthia Pong, an award-winning executive coach and expert on career advancement for women of color, and author of Don’t Stay in Your Lane, broke down eight toxic thought patterns that commonly affect leaders, offering practical ways to overcome them.
If you’ve ever felt burned out, stuck in self-doubt, or overwhelmed by comparison, this article will help you recognize and counteract those tendencies so you can show up as the strong, effective leader your team needs.
The Martyr Complex: “I Have to Do Everything”
Many managers feel an outsized sense of responsibility, believing they must shoulder every burden to ensure success. This can stem from early career conditioning, especially for those who have historically been underrepresented in leadership roles. The problem? When you take on too much, you deny others the chance to step up and develop their own skills.
Cynthia suggests identifying tasks you don’t need to handle personally. Delegate responsibilities to empower your team members rather than stifling their growth. If you feel resistance, ask yourself: “Is it truly necessary for me to do this, or am I just afraid to let go?”
Imposter Syndrome: “Any Moment Now, They’ll Realize I’m a Fraud”
Even highly competent managers experience imposter syndrome—the fear that they’re not as skilled as others believe them to be. Cynthia noted that imposter syndrome is not the same as being new at something. Imposter syndrome is when you credit your success on external factors rather than your skills and contributions. It’s when you downplay your own knowledge and capabilities. This self-doubt can lead to hesitation, over-preparation, and reluctance to step into bigger leadership roles.
Cynthia also mentioned imposterization, a concept developed by Professor Angelica Gutierrez. Here, the idea is that in certain work, educational, and other environments, women, people of color, and other groups are actually made to feel like they're an imposter in this space.
To address imposter syndrome and many other negative thought patters, Cynthia recommends the Self-Compassion Skills Workbook.
Weak Locus of Control: “Things Just Happen to Me”
Your “locus of control” determines whether you see yourself as the driver of your circumstances or merely a passenger. Leaders with a weak locus of control believe external factors—bad bosses, budget cuts, market conditions—dictate their success. Those with a strong internal locus recognize their ability to influence outcomes, even in challenging situations.
Cynthia recommends you shift your focus to what you can control. For example, you can do everything in your power to influence your boss to add resources to a project, but ultimately it’s their decision. If your request is denied, instead of saying, “I can’t get the resources I need because my boss won’t approve them,” reframe it as, “What can I do with the resources I have?”
Regretful Thinking: “I Should Have Done This Years Ago”
Regret can be paralyzing, making you feel like it’s too late to pivot, learn a new skill, or make a bold move.
The saying goes: The best time to start was yesterday; the second-best time is today. Instead of dwelling on past inaction, Cynthia urges us to commit to taking one small step forward now. Whether it’s enrolling in a leadership course or initiating a needed team change, progress is always possible.
Judgmental Thinking: “I’m Not Good Enough, and Neither Is My Team”
Perfectionist managers often hold impossibly high standards for themselves and others. While striving for excellence is valuable, excessive self-criticism can lead to micromanagement and erode confidence in your team. Plus, when your team sees you being so hard on yourself, they may be less likely to push back on your ideas, raise warnings, or give you feedback.
Cynthia reinforces the importance of practicing self-compassion. Recognize that learning and growth require making mistakes. Instead of focusing on flaws, shift your attention to strengths—both yours and those of your team members.
Crystal Ball Thinking: “I Know This Will End Badly”
When you assume the worst without evidence, you engage in “crystal ball thinking.” A delayed email response must mean your boss is unhappy. A missed deadline by an employee signals their lack of commitment. These assumptions create unnecessary anxiety and misunderstandings.
Whenever you catch yourself making negative assumptions, Cynthia recommends we first look at the facts. Then unpack the narrative we’re telling ourselves by asking, “What else could be true?” Could the delayed email simply mean the person is busy? Could the missed deadline be due to an unforeseen challenge rather than laziness? Seeking clarification instead of assuming saves energy and preserves team relationships.
Replace Toxic Thought Patterns with a Clearer Mindset
Negative thought patterns are common, but they don’t have to control you. The best managers recognize these tendencies in themselves and actively work to reframe their thinking.
Leadership isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being aware, adaptable, and willing to grow.
Start today by identifying which of these thought patterns resonate most with you. Then, take small steps to challenge and replace them with healthier perspectives. The result? A more confident, effective, and resilient leader—and a stronger team that thrives under your guidance.
Keep up with Cynthia Pong
FREE PDF: Overcome Negative Beliefs
Cynthia is giving members of Podcast+ a Free 10+ page PDF that includes activities to address the Martyr Complex, Locus of Control, and Comparison Bias to help you overcome negative beliefs.
To get this guest bonus and many other member benefits, become a member of The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.
---------------------
The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive and great work gets done.
Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!
Kommentare