Conflict in the workplace is inevitable, whether it's a strategic disagreement, budget concerns, or interpersonal tension. It’s easy to shy away from conflict, fearing it will disrupt the team’s harmony or slow things down. However, learning to navigate disagreements respectfully is a critical skill for fostering collaboration, innovation, and a positive work culture.
I spoke with Justin Jones-Fosu, CEO of Work. Meaningful., on how to handle workplace conflict with grace and respect, ensuring disagreements lead to growth rather than division.
Workplace Conflict is Inherently Not Bad
Conflict, contrary to popular belief, is not inherently negative. As Justin points out, conflict can be an opportunity for learning and actually strengthening relationships when handled with respect and intentionality. It’s through disagreement that teams can discover new perspectives, drive innovation, and arrive at more thoughtful decisions. The challenge lies in how we approach conflict.
One of the surprising insights Justin shares from his research is the phenomenon of “disrespectful agreement.” In many workplaces, employees may agree to something not because they truly align with the idea, but because they fear that disagreeing would be seen as disrespectful. This “disrespectful agreement” can undermine team cohesion and enable risks or poor decisions to go unchecked.
Respectful disagreement, on the other hand, encourages team members to voice their concerns or differing opinions in a manner that is constructive and empathetic. Managers should actively foster an environment where respectful disagreement is encouraged.
Approach Conflict With Respectful Disagreement
Start With Curiosity
One of the most effective ways to navigate disagreement is to ask questions. Justin suggests that before jumping to conclusions or voicing disagreement, managers should ask clarifying questions to ensure they fully understand the other person’s viewpoint. By doing so, managers can uncover the root of the disagreement and often find that they are not so far apart after all.
For example, rather than saying, “I don’t agree with this strategy,” a manager could ask, “Can you help me understand how this approach aligns with our long-term goals?” This invites the other person to share their reasoning and creates a space for dialogue rather than confrontation.
Justin offers a specific approach of The Power of Three which urges us to explore a conversation deeply by asking at least three layers of questions. For instance, if a team member says, “I think we should allocate more budget to marketing,” you might respond by asking:
“What impact do you think that will have on our sales targets?”
“How do you think this will affect our overall financial health?”
“Have you considered how this might limit resources for other departments?”
By asking questions and listening first, managers demonstrate that they are engaged, which can de-escalate tension and lead to more productive discussions.
Avoid Triggering Defenses
When entering a disagreement, it can be helpful to hedge your claims rather than presenting them as absolutes. Instead of saying, “This won’t work,” try, “From my perspective, this approach might have some challenges we need to consider.” This softer approach opens the door to dialogue rather than defensiveness. As Justin notes, people are more likely to engage in constructive conversations when they feel that their opinions are being respected and not dismissed outright.
Explicitly Invite Disagreement
One of the most effective ways to encourage respectful disagreement is to invite it. Justin shares that when he leads meetings, he explicitly asks his team to challenge his ideas. For example, he might say, “I want you all to tell me why this idea won’t work.” By framing disagreement as an expected and valuable part of the decision-making process, managers can reduce the stigma associated with voicing dissent.
To further reinforce speaking up, managers should actively appreciate team members who offer diverging perspectives. A simple “Thank you for sharing that perspective” can go a long way in making employees feel valued and heard.
On the other hand, if you’re the one who wants to disagree, Justin recommends we first ask for permission. For example, during a meeting you might say, “Are you open to hearing a different perspective?” This prepares people for what you’re about to share and can create an environment where diverse viewpoints are welcomed rather than seen as obstacles.
Agree to Respect, Not to Disagree
Instead of agreeing to disagree, which can sometimes feel dismissive, Justin advocates for an “agree to respect” approach. This means ensuring that even when team members don’t see eye to eye, they leave the conversation feeling heard and valued. This can be achieved through techniques like “Thank you because,” where managers acknowledge the contribution of their team members, even if they don’t fully agree with their perspective. For example, “Thank you because your point about resource allocation helped me think more critically about our priorities.”
Relationships Are Fundamental
Not all workplace conflicts are about ideas. Sometimes, personal behaviors or habits can lead to tension. For instance, a colleague who snaps their gum or plays music loudly can become a source of irritation for others. Addressing these issues requires a delicate balance between respecting individual differences and maintaining a productive work environment.
Justin advises that before confronting someone about a behavioral issue, managers should build relational capital by fostering a positive, respectful relationship with the individual. When it’s time to address the issue, asking for permission to provide feedback is crucial. For example, “Would you mind if I shared some feedback with you about something I’ve noticed?” This approach shows respect and gives the other person a sense of control over the conversation.
Conflict is an inevitable part of any workplace, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. By fostering a culture of respectful disagreement, managers can turn conflict into an opportunity for growth, innovation, and stronger relationships. As Justin emphasizes, it’s about creating a space where all voices are heard, and disagreements are seen as stepping stones to a better future.
Listen to the entire episode HERE to learn more about conflict management.
Keep up with Justin Jones-Fosu
- Follow Justin on LinkedIn here
- Grab a copy of Justin’s book here
- Check out his website for more information here
Guest Bonus: FREE PDF Tips for the Modern Manager to Respectfully Disagree
Justin is providing members of Podcast+ with a free PDF that includes Tips for the Modern Manager to Respectfully Disagree. In this 20-page PDF, you will find a series of 10 Quick Tips from Work Meaningful for individuals, leaders, and those navigating the political divide.
Get this guest bonus and many other member benefits when you join The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.
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