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Writer's pictureMamie Kanfer Stewart

How To Deal With The Real Reasons for Unhappiness At Work

As a manager, it’s important to recognize that while it isn't solely your responsibility to ensure everyone is happy in the workplace, the impact of unhappy employees on productivity, engagement, and overall success is significant. To unpack the real reason people are unhappy at work, I spoke with Dr. Tessa West, a professor of psychology at New York University. Turns out the factors that matter often go much deeper than surface-level issues like compensation or commute time. 


In this article, we’ll explore the underlying psychological factors contributing to employee unhappiness and discuss strategies managers can implement to help their teams thrive.


ROOT CAUSES OF UNHAPPINESS AT WORK


It's easy to attribute workplace dissatisfaction to obvious factors like a difficult boss or an annoying coworker. However, Tessa emphasizes that many employees are unhappy for deeper, more psychological reasons—reasons that are often overlooked. Much like in romantic relationships, feelings of underappreciation, identity crises, and complex emotional experiences can trigger unhappiness at work. These issues are rarely addressed because they are harder to recognize and often require a deeper self-examination to identify.


NOTICE WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON


One of the most critical aspects of managing workplace happiness is helping employees develop self-awareness about their feelings and triggers. Tessa suggests that employees predict what will stress them out at the beginning of the day, document what actually does, and then compare these observations over time to identify patterns. Surprisingly, she notes that what really grates on people is not what they initially expect.


This process of self-reflection allows employees to uncover the real sources of their stress, whether it’s overwhelming tasks, feeling bored, or interpersonal issues with colleagues. As a manager, encouraging this kind of self-assessment can be an effective way to help employees take control of their happiness and begin to address the root causes of their dissatisfaction.


YOU ARE NOT YOUR CAREER


In America, it’s common for your identity to be deeply intertwined with your career, often to an unhealthy extent. Tessa explains how many people become so identified with their jobs that their self-worth is directly tied to their work performance. This can create a dangerous situation where employees feel trapped in jobs that no longer satisfy them, leading to burnout and chronic unhappiness.


Managers need to recognize the signs of this unhealthy attachment. Employees who are overly identified with their work may experience emotional roller coasters—feeling ecstatic when they succeed and devastated when they fail. These emotions spill over into their personal lives, putting everyone at the whim of their daily performance. 


LOOK FOR THE RED FLAGS


As a manager, it’s crucial to be aware of the red flags that may indicate an employee is struggling with deeper issues of unhappiness. 


Tessa notes that employees experiencing an identity crisis or deep unhappiness at work may exhibit behaviors that suggest they are trying to prove something to themselves or others, rather than genuinely enjoying their work. 


For example, employees who never say no and always agree to take on more work may be trying to mask their unhappiness by staying busy. Similarly, those who avoid discussing their struggles or concerns may be reluctant to admit that they are not as satisfied as they appear. 


These behaviors should be addressed promptly to prevent burnout and disengagement. Tessa recommends we encourage our team members to voice their concerns and feelings, even if it means having uncomfortable conversations. This approach not only helps to identify issues early on but also builds a culture of trust and transparency.


ADDRESS UNHAPPINESS AT WORK HEAD ON


What should you do if you discover that an employee is genuinely unhappy? Tess advises that managers should be willing to have explicit, honest conversations about the employee's dissatisfaction. It's important to understand whether the issue is something that can be addressed within the current role or if it indicates a deeper misalignment that might require a more significant change.


In some cases, the best course of action may be to help the employee find a new role that better suits their needs and aspirations. While this may seem counterintuitive, it demonstrates a commitment to the employee's well-being and can ultimately lead to a more engaged and productive workforce. Being a supportive manager means prioritizing the long-term happiness and success of your team members, even if it means helping them move on to new opportunities.


It’s easy to focus on the more tangible aspects of employee satisfaction—like compensation, workload, and work environment. However, the real causes of unhappiness often lie deeper and require us to be honest with ourselves. It’s not always easy, but by taking a proactive and empathetic approach, you can create a work environment where employees feel valued, supported, and genuinely happy in their roles


Listen to the entire episode HERE.


Keep up with Tessa West:

  • Take Tessa’s career quiz here

  • Learn more about her research here

  • Grab a copy of Tessa’s Job Therapy book here


Guest Bonus: Book Giveaway: FREE 10 Copies of Tessa’s Job Therapy


Tessa is giving away 10 copies of her latest book Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works For You. This book helps you figure out the real reason you're unhappy and shows you how to find a new position in which you'll thrive, whether in a different role, company or new industry altogether. 


You must be a member of Podcast+ to enter the drawing and do so before Friday, August 31.


Get this guest bonus and many other member benefits when you join The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.



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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive, and great work gets done.


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